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Often when we have dealt scripturally with bad feelings that have been aroused by a certain situation, we like to believe that we will not suffer them again. In some cases, we don't. But, as human beings, we may experience certain situations in our lives that stir up painful feelings about certain persons or events.
Those feelings in themselves are not wrong. But if we respond to them with unremitting anger, hostility, bitterness, and resentment, we can hurt ourselves and others badly. For it can hurt us physically, psychologically, and spiritually to dwell on the grief others have caused us.
These feelings cannot only hurt our relationships with others. They can come between us and God, who is the one who can help us most! His Word gives us some excellent advice here. Psalm 37:1-3 advises us not to fret because of evildoers or be envious of those who do wrong-God will deal with them. Instead we are to trust in the Lord and do good.
FORGIVE EVERYBODY AS GOD FORGIVES YOU
Samuel Johnson said, "A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain" (The Rambler).
Painful feelings may involve a missing or abusive parent, an errant or abusive mate, an ungrateful, uncaring child, or even something wrong that we did in the past. Some women I have counseled have told me that their guilt concerning abortions or the breakup of their marriages have haunted them for years. Even though they had asked God's forgiveness, they had not been able to forgive themselves--until they realized the depth and reality of God's grace and forgiveness.
According to the psalmist, God has removed our transgressions from us as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Forgiveness is a key remedy for relief from painful feelings. If those feelings are caused by another person, let us heed Christ's advice when He said to forgive those who sin against us a limitless number of times (Matthew 18:22).
Jesus gave us this teaching as much for our sakes as for those we forgive. How can we enjoy His love, peace, and joy if we harbor wrath, malice, anger, bitterness, and hostility toward others, or speak slanderously of them?
We grieve the Holy Spirit when we do that (Ephesians 4:30-31), and the Spirit is the source of love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22). Ephesians 4:32 says we are to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving "even as God for Christ's sake forgives us." How can we do that?
Well, Jesus Christ also told us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matt. 5:44). According to Roget's Thesaurus, "persecute" means to molest, wrong, or torment--"to annoy or disturb with hostile intent or injurious effect."
TURN THE HURTS AND HURTERS OVER TO GOD
When I've found it hard to forgive someone who has hurt me, I hold that person up in my hand to the Lord and ask His help. As I pray for such persons, I realize what miserable people they must be to cause others pain. This gives me a little sympathy for them, and the love of God fills in the rest.
Bitterness and anger at God and others because of past experiences cause many people misery for years. Such hurtful feelings can mar their lives and those of others close to them. How sad that they have thus wasted their lives on self-pity! The best way we can reject bitter thoughts and feelings is through forgiveness. "Make every effort to live in peace," the Bible advises. "See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:14-15).
Wise Christians put their trust in the love and power of God and reject bitterness and self-pity. In so doing they have achieved Christ's abundant life in spite of whatever has happened in their lives. And they enjoy the peace of God in Christ that passes all understanding.
Copyright Muriel Larson
